Losing identity, and inhibition

Normal work day yesterday editing. Then an excellent episode of Star Trek TNG [sc., “Conundrum”]. All of the crew lost the part of their memory that dealt with identity which lead to some surprising humor. I guess there was a degree of disinhibition in people – because memories and experiences were taken away, and what you were left with was the “raw personality. Ro Laren had a sense of humor, Will Riker was a lothario (which he knew he had once been in the past), Picard is sharp and level-headed, and doesn’t crave leadership but steps in with a sense of duty when needed. Warf craves battle but still lives with honor (not hesitating to apologize to Picard for having taken over the bridge.

And what would I be like without my memories? And G__? More at ease, like all of the crew. Deanna Troi who was sweetly flirtatious and gentle. Not hesitating to try new things, write new things, get them out there, be with people. At the same time, I’d probably be more openly approaching my shadow, but also running away from it, as I wouldn’t have tested it yet – like I have done in my life now.

But would it be so hard to live that way? To just start living one’s life with ease, as if one were a child. To not be scared – to be like Deanna when she touches Will’s cheek, she just does it. She doesn’t hesitate or question herself or wonder how Will would respond. And it helps that Will is open and receptive, he doesn’t hide that he’s receptive.

I’ll live like that today, even in small ways.